Bad Mom

 Being home I have been asked if I will continue to blog daily.  For now the answer is yes.  When I decided to blog and I named it as Bestlife, I wanted to share how the ups and downs, the good days and bad, the successes and failures that come at me every day.  That the challenges and struggles, the laughs and tears all make up my best life.  As I try to maintain my "boat zen" and figure out this phase, I still hope to inspire others to look at life as their best life.  We only have the one.

That being said, tonight's blog is inspired by the movie "Bad Moms" which I just rewatched this week.  And this morning while getting brunch, Paul and I ran into a mom of Scott's childhood friend. Both of which prompted our discussion of my being a "bad mom".  

First, my recollections of being a bad mom.

    While in elementary school, Scott was invited to a birthday party.  Of course he had lost the invitation but knew when and where the party was so he got dropped off.  I went to work and Paul went to pick him up at what we thought was an appropriate time.  Ha!  There was no one home.  I couldn't remember their last name, couldn't spell his best friend's last name and had no idea how to find them!  Eventually Paul found out they had taken the kids to see the Harlem Globetrotters and wouldn't be home for hours.  Bad mom.  

While at Roger Williams Park Zoo members' night I lost Kevin.  We had worked our way to the back of the zoo to the new baby giraffe.  While taking photos I was too absorbed to notice Kevin disappeared.  A code Amber was called and the security guard told me to stay put.  Nope.  I left the other two kids with my friend and started running.  Sure enough, Kevin had backtracked to the juggler on stilts.  Bad mom.

While napping on the couch, Magen woke me up to show me the "grape" she found on the floor.  It was not a grape but a blown up tick that had fallen off the dog!  Bad mom.

While on vacation in Pennsylvania we let the kids swim in the outdoor pool.  Scott was in a float ring and Paul and I ran to the car in the parking lot.  Maybe three minutes.  While we were gone, Scott tried to drown and Megan saved him.  Bad mom.

Awakening from a nap I found Megan had trimmed the dog's "bangs".  Bad mom.

When I asked the kids about their memories of me being a bad mom this is what I got:

The list I gave Megan concerning when to bury me in the backyard - when I wear a matching velour sweat suit in public.  The list also includes - wearing a fanny pack, flip up sunglasses, umbrella hat, when my child wears a leash and more embarrassing things.

Kevin got "lost" frequently.  He and Scott accompanied us on many Girl Scout outings.  At the Boston Aquarium he was left behind on the ground floor.  Easily found but was out of sight for awhile.  We had a firm rule when traveling - if you get "lost" - do not move.  I will return to the last place I saw you and start a search.  Worked very well.  I always found him.  Bad mom.

Kevin once told me he wanted a new mom.  I gave him the Sears catalog and told him to pick one out,  I would order one immediately.  He cried and immediately reneged.  Bad mom.   (Paul thought he should have had input to the new mom!)

On vacation in Nova Scotia once the kids had wandered away from us and were up on some rocks.  Scott called out to us wanting to jump between the rocks.  Paul said no.  Megan said no.  I said go for it.  He jumped, missed the rock and ripped open his leg.  I used his sock as a bandage until we could get back to the car.  Bad mom.

While snowmobiling in Montana we got "lost".  Paul's snowmobile had broken down and he had to return by truck but the kids and I rode back in the dark.  I happened to miss a turn and went into the woods.  A quick reverse and we were back on the trail.  At the next intersection, I said go left.  The kids outvoted me and we went right.  After a bit I noticed someone else had gone into the woods off the trail.   I pointed it out to the kids to show that I was not alone in being unable to stay on the trail.  Joke on me!  We had gone in a circle and those were my tracks off trail.  

Being a bad mom has enriched our lives.  I know I am not perfect,  The kids know I am not perfect.  But I love them unconditionally as they love me.  I am sooo proud of them and the choices they have made in their lives.  I can only hope they recognize they need not be perfect but only do their best and love.  Perfection is an illusion.  Love and your best life enfolds.